Comments Off on Do These 2 Things To MakeYour Stress Worse
If you’re like most people, you have more than enough stress to be getting on with, and a lot of that stress probably involves other people. I’m sure you don’t want any more stress, but you’re probably causing yourself some extra headaches if you do one of these two things.
Playing their game – You know you’re caught up in this vicious cycle if you find yourself thinking or saying things like “Oh, I can play HER game” “Tit for tat” “If that’s how he wants to play… fine!” This just serves to prolong and intensify your stress as you obsess about how you’re going to “fight fire with fire.” When you use this tactic, you stay in fight of flight mode, complete with elevated heart rate and blood pressure as well as decreased activity in the speech and critical thinking areas of your brain. I’ve been there, and it’s tempting (VERY tempting… almost irresistibly tempting) to want to get even or back at someone who’s contributing to your stress level. But let me give you a piece of advice from the “been there, done that” file – the stress blows over a lot faster when you find another way to deal with it. (Psssttt… there are lots of ideas for how to do this in other blog posts. You can find them in the stress categories to the right of this post.)
Not being true to you – People love to give advice, whether you’ve requested it or not. They love to tell you what they would do if they were in your situation. This might work if you’re both of a similar temperament with comparable outlooks on life. If you’re not that similar… not so much. For instance, if you’re an honest, open person and have a “difficult” person in your life you may be tempted to restrict them on your social media on the advice of others who’ve done the same thing to a difficult someone in their life. But before you do, ask yourself, “will I be more comfortable (i.e. less stressed) restricting or blocking this person, or by not posting anything negative about them publicly (and, really… should I be posting negative things about ANYONE)?” This is just one example; there are myriad more. Suffice it to say, if someone else’s suggestion for how to handle your stress makes you uncomfortable or just plain doesn’t feel right for you, it will only cause you more stress if you take their suggestion.
Have you ever done of one of these? How did it work out for you?